Fifty Shades of Grey stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, and is directed by Sam-Taylor Johnson. The film was released in Australia 12th of February, 2015.
Fifty Shades of Grey is about a young woman called Anastasia who is given the chance to interview the millionaire "hottie" Christian Grey, after which they develop a relationship which becomes questionable after Anastasia learns the true nature of Christian Grey. He really likes BDSM. Even though it's only the softest, most civilized version of BDSM ever seen.
In all honesty, this movie was absolutely terrible. I've already heard from multiple sources that the book is terrible, but I had a slight hope that with a fresh set of eyes, maybe the film makers would make it bearable. They did not succeed. This movie was possibly the most boring movie I have ever encountered. I did not care for any of the characters, or the plot, or what was even going to happen next. Let me show you the basic idea that was discussed when writing the movie.
Anastasia meets up with Christian after some time has passed and they have not seen each other - Christian then wins her trust or whatever it is by doing some amazing things, like flying a helicopter or a plan or some stupid thing like that - Then Anastasia feels like she's gotta do some BDSM to balance out the amazing things that Christian is doing for her.
And that, my friends, is repeated at least three or four times in this movie. Not even in well thought out ways. Another thing that infuriated me, was the writing. The dialogue is sooo bad and sooo cheesy, I think at least 90% of the really soppy, really bad romantic movies have better dialogue. Actually, I feel like porn movies would have better dialogue and forwarding of the plot then this. Like I could believe some lady wanting to have sex with a pizza delivery guy. But this movie is next level stupid. There is no reason she would keep going back for this stuff. Honestly, the two of them hardly know each other. She keeps pushing it off as love that makes her go back to the BDSM, but in all honesty, she doesn't know much about his life, he doesn't take her out much, they don't really have any memories together other than him taking her for a helicopter ride one time. There is NO reason at all for her to love him enough to put up with his stupid BDSM ideas.
The acting was terrible, save for Dakota Johnson, who I actually enjoyed as Anastasia. She was that awkward weird sort of woman, that would make some situation funny just by being awkward. Hats off to her, and to her for the sex scenes, in which she had to reveal a lot of her body in.
Which leads me to another problem. The sex scenes. Where was the torture and punishment. I saw her get tied up, and I can't tell you how many couples I know who have done that. At one stage, she was tickled by a feather while tied up, and I almost spat out my popcorn at how crazy that was. If you can't tell, that was sarcasm. Because touching someone with a feather is not BDSM.
I will admit, I was intrigued by the whole workings of the 'Dominant' and 'Submissive' such as how she has to wait by the doors in a certain position and she has to do everything he tells her. Though, by the end I basically saw this as almost an idea about men controlling women without the idea of BDSM. I actually think it would have made a better movie if they had removed the BDSM, focused it on him being dominant in every aspect of her life, and how she was coping with it. Oh, and not listening to the nutcase who wrote this book, because I really really hated this.
Fifty Shades of Grey gets a 1 out of 5 stars, and that is just for Dakota Johnson's acting and charisma. I would suggest not seeing it at all, or if you must, download it. Or wait for it to be in the bargain bin. Because we definitely know it will be there. I'm going to go cry now.
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